Thoughts

I know that I should be more specific, but eh, that wouldn't be me.  A reminder that I ramble, or forget where I am going (unless it is a recipe - but then I forget the items to put in it), or turn right three times and still get lost.  So hang in there...

Today's calendar thought:

"You can't get anywhere today if you are still mired down in yesterday."  - unknown.

I went to bi-monthly Mom's group today.  One that I last attended regularly in the Summer of 2000.  Yep, 12 years ago.  I know that my children are almost done growing (youngest is a 15 year old boy, and oldest 19 year old girl at college), and that I may not have much to offer or gain.  But I did today.  I did one of the hardest things in a long while for me to do, and that was admit that I have been feeling lost.  

The Lord has been working on my ego, and pride much to my dismay.  Ah, why can't I just learn a lesson and be done?  Why can't any of us read what scripture tells us, and do it.  Simple. Right?

Proverbs 16:18 (MSG) First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.

Lost in my past routines, daily frustrations that they were, my routine.  Although, I felt called to be doing what I did...my pride now...is showing nothing.  I am not working...  I am at home...  Without a routine.  Structure is to be my gain.  Learning from the past, letting go of my past pride and ego.  

Lost in the securities of knowing what the day held.  Lost.  I let go this morning of that feeling just by sharing in Christian Fellowship.  I know that hindsight is 20/20.  I know that I am secure in His plans for me.  Just need to seek Him.

I know that I am home for my health, to have less stress.  I know that I am home to help my hungry all the time 15 year old son.  He is struggling now with school, and we are on the path to help guide him.  But this is a path that I am unsure of...one with a routine I have never experienced before.  Not sure of my steps in this path.  How am I to guide when I have no clue where we are going? 

Connections.  We are to be with other Christians to support, help, remind ourselves that we don't do anything alone.  I will attend that Mom's group again, Lord willing.  I will try to listen, and be there for someone else, like those precious women were there for me today.  

He guides our ways.  He holds us close. 

Focusing on Him, today and tomorrow with a new routine.

Philippians 4:13 (NIV)  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Blessings,

Jerry Ann

Down Days

The weekend has become my down time.   Monday through Friday I work outside the home.  One day, hopefully sooner than later, I will be able to work from home.  But for now that is the way life has it.  I have been off of the medicines recommended by my RA doctor for over a year now.  Overall, I believe that I have less issues without the side effects from the medicine than being on so many different prescriptions.  I hate taking pills.

Although there are days that are extremely difficult with joint pain, and fatigue.  Weekends seem to get me more now than ever.  The weather is becoming really nice outside, and with low humidity.  This just makes me sad.  I  need to rest, if I don't - Monday will not be a good day, or the rest of the week.  I have off Labor Day Monday, but we had activities this weekend.  The family goes and does, and here I sit, resting, with my hips throbbing, and thoroughly exhausted.  I slept until 1030 or until my back couldn't take it anymore.  You would think that I had plenty of sleep.  Nope, not today.  I have been focusing less lately as well.  It has been a long while that I have felt this bad. 

So another weekend, and I have spent my time either in bed or on the couch.  I am grateful that my determination is better come Mondays but overall, I still don't feel well.  Days like today I wonder if I should go back on the medicines, but they seem to make the bad days every other day, then allow me to wait until the weekends.

So, the house is quiet, and I think it is time for a nap. 

Happy Fourth!

Happy Independence Day!

It is a four day weekend for me, 

and I do believe that I love being home.

We are in a place where I need to work, 

but one day I will be able to be at home full time.

Until then...  

I did a little around the house on Friday, but not much.

Yesterday (Saturday), I truly just relaxed. 

Carmen and I watch a couple of movies, and had popcorn.

Today, we stayed home from church, 

but I got up and seemed to get busy.

No one around here likes it when I get "productive".  

I seem to go from room to room, but after a good bit, 

I have accomplished a lot. 

Not anything specific.  Just stuff.  

Hubby and Stephen will be going fishing later at Hubby's parents dock.

Carmen is working again (Thank you God!), 

and will meet us later to watch the fireworks put on by

the City of Fort Walton, and then we will turn directions

and watch the City of Destin fireworks. 

When I grew up, I got sparklers.

Really.  That is it.  Oh, and if I had any babysitting money,

I would get those champagne bottle poppers (with paper streamers).

Those were fun. It was enough.  When I got older, I would meet 

friends and attend the show at the Northwest Arkansas Mall.

That was fun, but the traffic was crazy.

I like this holiday. 

We are blessed to have a home.  

A free place to express our thoughts, 

worship where we want.

Grateful.

Have fun and a safe holiday.

Blessings!