Anniversary

Today marks the fifth anniversary of my Mother's passing.  In so many ways, it seems like forever ago.

I sit here and think about all of the things she could help with, or be here for, and end up making myself more upset than normal.  Stephen registered for his high school classes last night.  Carmen has her Senior Cotillion in March, then graduating high school in May. Reconnecting with family in Texas.  Big stuff.  And then there are the things that she cooked or how she would do something.

Having lost her so early (she was 69 - me 39)--hurts, today especially.  I would really love to hug her one more time, or have her play with my hair again.  Yell at me or the kids for silly things.  Even with it being difficult when I was young, she was a remarkable woman.  I can say that now.  I didn't appreciate all that she did when she was here.  Regret.  Especially with things that she did and never spoke about.  Things that I had no idea about.

Death is hardest on those it leaves behind.

She believed in a Savior that gives us eternal life.  I believe in a Savior that gives me eternal life.  I know where she is, and that she is no longer suffering.  There are days that I just miss her.  Today I miss her.