Answers...

I have been praying for answers for a long time now. I think we all do, in all aspects of our lives. I have been diagnoised with Lupus in May of 2008. Lots of steps in that direction, and more confusion. Yesterday I was diagnoised with Sjogrens Syndrome, and Raynauds. My new doctor is wonderful and ended my session with "you are weird." Really? I have known that for a long while. I start Methotrexate tomorrow, and I am terrified. Terrified of what it will do to my body, and terrified what this disease has already done to my body and mind. I am positive to everyone, the majority of the time. God has provided me with a tremendous peace, and I do my best to portray God's peace. It is so hard. Hard. I so want to scream, and kick, to be mad at God. Today, I had a precious friend call just to check on me. She cried when she heard what I am going through. I was strong with that conversation, but the moment I hung up, I cried. Terrified once again. I believe that I am saved by grace, and will be healed completely. There are moments of doubt when I try to control, but I come back to rejoicing in the Lord. Always. Phil. 4:4. Answers are only the beginning. Blessings. Jerry Ann